Why True Success Demands Discomfort

The secret to unlocking genuine achievement lies not in avoiding challenges, but in embracing their inherent discomfort. Recently, on Unpacking the Backpack, I shared some compelling reasons, backed by research, to move beyond our comfort zones and embrace failing forward after revisiting a blog post I wrote in 2019. Listen on Spotify or wherever you access your favorite podcasts. You can also read the original blog post HERE. Below are some expanded thoughts on the topic, including additional research.

We’re often sold a vision of success as a smooth, upward trajectory – a highlight reel of achievements and accolades. But the reality for most is far bumpier, more challenging, and frankly, more uncomfortable. The truth is the path to significant, meaningful success is rarely paved with ease. It’s in navigating the discomfort – the fear, the uncertainty, the stretching of our abilities – that true growth and lasting achievement are forged.

Think about it: stepping outside your comfort zone is, by definition, uncomfortable. Yet, this is precisely where learning and growth thrive. Whether it's the knot in your stomach before a crucial presentation, the frustration of grappling with a new skill, or the vulnerability of implementing an innovative idea, these moments of unease are not roadblocks, but rather signposts indicating you’re pushing boundaries.

One of the first uncomfortable truths we often encounter is the fear of failure. This isn't just a fleeting worry; it can be a significant psychological barrier. Research by Conroy, Willow, and Metzler (2002) identified various dimensions of this fear, including fears of experiencing shame and embarrassment and devaluing one's self-esteem. The anxiety associated with potential failure can be paralyzing, tempting us to stick to the familiar and avoid challenges. However, success often lies on the other side of confronting these fears, learning from setbacks, and developing resilience. Each time we push through this fear, even in small ways, we build our capacity to handle greater challenges.

This ties directly into the concept of a growth mindset, a term Dr. Carol S. Dweck popularized. Individuals with a growth mindset believe their abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. This inherently involves embracing challenges and persisting in the face of setbacks – activities that are often uncomfortable. A seminal study by Blackwell, Trzesniewski, and Dweck (2007) demonstrated that students holding a growth mindset showed an upward trajectory in grades over two years of junior high school, precisely because they were more likely to embrace challenging coursework and persist despite difficulties. The discomfort of tackling hard problems was a catalyst for their academic success.

Another layer of discomfort arises from honestly appraising our own competence, or lack thereof. The Dunning-Kruger effect, a cognitive bias described by Kruger and Dunning (1999), highlights how individuals with low ability at a task often overestimate their ability. The uncomfortable journey here involves moving from blissful ignorance to a more accurate, and perhaps humbling, self-assessment. Recognizing our incompetence is a crucial, albeit uncomfortable, first step towards genuine skill development. Only when we acknowledge what we don’t know can we truly begin to learn and improve.

Even when success begins to materialize, discomfort can persist in the form of impostor syndrome. First identified by Clance and Imes (1978), this psychological pattern involves a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud," despite external evidence of competence and achievement. High achievers, paradoxically, are often plagued by these feelings of inadequacy. The discomfort of feeling like an impostor, worrying that one's successes are due to luck rather than ability, can be profound. Overcoming this requires an uncomfortable level of self-reflection, acceptance of one's accomplishments, and a willingness to internalize success.

The journey to success is not about avoiding discomfort, but about learning to navigate it, grow from it, and even seek it out as a sign of progress. It’s about understanding that the butterflies in your stomach, the sweat on your palms, and the nagging voice of doubt are often indicators that you’re on the right track – the uncomfortable, but ultimately rewarding, path to achieving your potential.

Blackwell, L. S., Trzesniewski, K. H., & Dweck, C. S. (2007). Implicit theories of intelligence predict achievement across an adolescent transition: A longitudinal study and an intervention. Child Development, 78(1), 246-263.

Clance, P. R., & Imes, S. A. (1978). The imposter phenomenon in high achieving women: Dynamics and therapeutic intervention. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice, 15(3), 241–247.

Conroy, D. E., Willow, J. P., & Metzler, J. N. (2002). Multidimensional fear of failure measurement: The Performance Failure Appraisal Inventory. Journal of Applied Sport Psychology, 14(2), 76-90.

Kruger, J., & Dunning, D. (1999). Unskilled and unaware of it: How difficulties in recognizing one's own incompetence lead to inflated self-assessments. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 77(6), 1121–1134.

Why School Leaders Need a Coach: The Critical Role of Job-Embedded and Ongoing Professional Learning

Professional learning is an embedded element of every district and school, but the focus is usually on teachers.  Leaders deserve support as well.  Recently, on Unpacking the Backpack, I discussed the value of job-embedded and ongoing coaching for administrators backed by research after revisiting blog posts I wrote in 2018 and 2021. Listen on Spotify or wherever you access your favorite podcasts. Below are some expanded thoughts on the topic, including additional research.

Effective school leadership is pivotal in shaping successful learning outcomes and creating an enriching school culture. However, the complex responsibilities inherent in school leadership often demand continuous skill development, reflective practice, and adaptive leadership approaches. Increasingly, educational research underscores coaching as a highly effective form of professional learning, essential for empowering school leaders with the capabilities required for impactful, sustainable leadership.

The Case for Coaching in School Leadership

School leaders today face unprecedented challenges, from navigating diverse educational needs to managing organizational change effectively. Coaches provide critical support, enabling leaders to build essential skills, reflect critically on their practice, and apply adaptive strategies in real-time scenarios (Aguilar, 2013). According to Wise and Cavazos (2017), leaders who engage in coaching report increased self-efficacy, enhanced problem-solving skills, and a heightened capacity for effective decision-making. Effective leadership is about people and how their collective actions align with new thinking, ideas, and tools to help build cultures primed for success (Sheninger, 2019). Coaching helps leaders get to where they need and want to be to improve outcomes.

Job-Embedded Coaching as Continuous Improvement

One of the defining characteristics of successful leadership coaching is its job-embedded nature, meaning the learning occurs within the actual work context. This approach ensures relevance, practicality, and immediacy, directly connecting coaching sessions to daily challenges and responsibilities (Drago-Severson & Blum-DeStefano, 2018). It also avoids having to miss time to attend presentations and workshops.  Job-embedded professional learning through coaching allows leaders to immediately apply new insights, receive timely feedback, analyze evidence, and refine their practices iteratively, which is imperative in a disruptive world (Sheninger, 2021). 

Research Support for Ongoing Professional Learning

Research consistently highlights ongoing, sustained professional development as significantly more effective than isolated training events (Darling-Hammond, Hyler, & Gardner, 2017). Ongoing coaching supports deep, reflective learning processes, allowing leaders to progressively build and reinforce leadership competencies over time. The sustained nature of coaching contributes to deeper internalization of effective leadership practices, ultimately enhancing organizational outcomes and student achievement (Goff, Guthrie, Goldring, & Bickman, 2014).

Promoting Reflective Leadership

Coaching promotes reflective practice, a cornerstone of effective school leadership. Reflection facilitated by a skilled coach helps leaders critically analyze their actions, decisions, and outcomes, driving continual growth and learning (Robertson, 2016). Through guided reflection, leaders develop a deeper understanding of their strengths and areas for growth, enhancing their overall leadership capacity and effectiveness.

Building Capacity for Adaptive Leadership

Adaptive leadership, crucial in today's educational environments characterized by complexity and constant change, is significantly enhanced through coaching (Heifetz, Grashow, & Linsky, 2009). Coaches support leaders in developing adaptive strategies, resilience, and flexibility, ensuring they are equipped to lead effectively amidst changing contexts and challenges (Sheninger, 2015).

Creating Sustainable Leadership Growth

Ultimately, coaching contributes to the sustainability of leadership growth by embedding continuous learning within the leader's professional practice. This sustained engagement supports immediate performance improvement and long-term leadership capacity building, benefiting the broader educational community and fostering school-wide improvement (Killion & Harrison, 2017).

The evidence supporting coaching as an essential component of professional learning for school leaders is compelling. Job-embedded, ongoing coaching helps leaders develop the reflective capacity, adaptive skills, and sustained effectiveness necessary to meet contemporary education's dynamic demands. As schools continue navigating complex educational landscapes, investing in coaching for school leaders remains a strategic imperative (Sheninger, 2019). 

Want to learn more about the Aspire Change EDU coaching model? Reach out today to set up a complimentary thirty (30) minute Zoom - AspireChangeEDU@gmail.com

Aguilar, E. (2013). The art of coaching: Effective strategies for school transformation. Jossey-Bass.

Darling-Hammond, L., Hyler, M. E., & Gardner, M. (2017). Effective teacher professional development. Learning Policy Institute.

Drago-Severson, E., & Blum-DeStefano, J. (2018). Leading change together: Developing educator capacity within schools and systems. ASCD.

Goff, P., Guthrie, J. E., Goldring, E., & Bickman, L. (2014). Changing principals’ leadership through feedback and coaching. Journal of Educational Administration, 52(5), 682–704. 

Heifetz, R., Grashow, A., & Linsky, M. (2009). The practice of adaptive leadership: Tools and tactics for changing your organization and the world. Harvard Business Press.

Killion, J., & Harrison, C. (2017). Taking the lead: New roles for teachers and school-based coaches. Learning Forward.

Robertson, J. (2016). Coaching leadership: Building educational leadership capacity through coaching partnerships. Leading and Managing, 22(1), 26–38.

Sheninger, E. (2019). Digital Leadership: Changing Paradigms for Changing Times (2nd Edition). Corwin: Thousand Oaks, CA. 

Sheninger, E. (2021). Disruptive Thinking in Our Classrooms: Preparing Learners for Their Future. ConnectEDD Publishing: Chicago, IL.

Sheninger, E. (2015). Uncommon Learning. Corwin: Thousand Oaks, CA 

Wise, D., & Cavazos, B. (2017). Leadership coaching for principals: A national study. Mentoring & Tutoring: Partnership in Learning, 25(2), 223–245. 

Building Trust: Five Research-Backed Strategies for Meaningful Relationships

 "Trust isn't built through grand gestures—it's earned in the quiet moments where consistency, honesty, and empathy align."

Writer’s block is real, especially if you have been blogging for as long as I have (15 years).  Going back and reflecting on past posts through my podcast has enabled me to explore new angles on, in my mind, very important topics and concepts.  Recently, on Unpacking the Backpack, I discussed research-based ways to build trust after revisiting a blog post I wrote in 2021. Listen on Spotify or wherever you access your favorite podcasts. You can also read the original blog post HERE. Below are some expanded thoughts on the topic, including additional research.

Trust is the foundation of all meaningful relationships, whether in education, leadership, or personal interactions. Building trust involves intentional practices supported by research to create reliability, openness, and mutual respect. Here are five research-backed strategies to effectively build and sustain trust:

Demonstrate Consistency and Reliability 

Trust develops when actions align consistently with words and commitments. According to Mayer, Davis, and Schoorman (1995), perceived reliability significantly enhances trust in leadership contexts, influencing the quality of relationships and organizational outcomes.

Promote Transparency and Open Communication 

Transparent and honest communication fosters trust by reducing uncertainty. Research by Tschannen-Moran and Hoy (2000) emphasizes that openness and vulnerability in interactions create an environment where trust can flourish, significantly impacting school leadership effectiveness and educator satisfaction.

Show Empathy and Emotional Intelligence 

Trust strengthens when individuals demonstrate empathy and understanding of others' perspectives and emotions. Mayer, Caruso, and Salovey (2016) found that leaders with higher emotional intelligence are more adept at building trust, as they effectively manage emotions to foster genuine connections and a supportive atmosphere.

Cultivate Authenticity 

Authenticity involves being genuine and true to one's values, promoting trust through predictability and sincerity. Walumbwa, Avolio, Gardner, Wernsing, and Peterson (2008) illustrated that authentic leadership positively correlates with trust in leaders, leading to improved organizational commitment and performance.

Encourage Mutual Respect and Shared Decision-Making 

Trust is deepened when individuals feel valued and included in decision-making processes. Bryk and Schneider (2003) highlighted how relational trust within educational institutions is significantly enhanced through inclusive leadership practices that emphasize respect and collaborative decision-making.

By intentionally integrating these research-based strategies, individuals and leaders can cultivate stronger, trust-driven relationships that positively impact their organizations and personal interactions.

Bryk, A. S., & Schneider, B. (2003). Trust in schools: A core resource for school reform. Educational Leadership, 60(6), 40–45.

Mayer, J. D., Caruso, D. R., & Salovey, P. (2016). The ability model of emotional intelligence: Principles and updates. Emotion Review, 8(4), 290–300. 

Mayer, R. C., Davis, J. H., & Schoorman, F. D. (1995). An integrative model of organizational trust. Academy of Management Review, 20(3), 709–734. 

Tschannen-Moran, M., & Hoy, W. K. (2000). A multidisciplinary analysis of the nature, meaning, and measurement of trust. Review of Educational Research, 70(4), 547–593. 

Walumbwa, F. O., Avolio, B. J., Gardner, W. L., Wernsing, T. S., & Peterson, S. J. (2008). Authentic leadership: Development and validation of a theory-based measure. Journal of Management, 34(1), 89–126. 

The Professional Development Paradox: Why Good Intentions Go Astray in Schools

Who doesn't look forward to PD days? While some educators do, I have the feeling that many of you cringe at the thought.  Recently, on my podcast Unpacking the Backpack, I discussed the pitfalls of professional development (PD) after revisiting a blog post I wrote in 2021. Listen on Spotify or wherever you access your favorite podcasts. You can also read the original blog post HERE. Below are some expanded thoughts on the topic.  

PD is the cornerstone of district and school culture. The idea is sound: equip educators with new skills, knowledge, and strategies to better serve their students. Yet, for many teachers and administrators, the mention of PD evokes a sigh rather than excitement. Why does this crucial investment so often fall short of its potential? The answer lies in several common pitfalls that plague PD initiatives in schools.

One significant issue is the lack of relevance and personalization. Too often, PD is a one-size-fits-all affair, delivered en masse regardless of individual needs or subject-specific challenges. A high school science teacher might find little value in a workshop focused on early literacy strategies, just as a veteran educator might feel patronized by introductory sessions on classroom management. This disconnect leads to disengagement and a feeling that time is being wasted (Darling-Hammond et al., 2017). This is compounded even more when it comes to administrators, as they rarely receive any meaningful PD on scheduled days, let alone throughout the school year. 

Another major hurdle is the "drive-by" nature of many PD sessions. A single keynote, breakout, workshop, or a short series of presentations rarely translates into lasting change in practice. Teachers, in particular, are bombarded with information but lack the time, support, and ongoing coaching needed to effectively implement new ideas in their classrooms. The knowledge gained often fades quickly without opportunities for reflection, collaboration, and practical application (Joyce & Showers, 2002). Again, as it relates to administrators, they are often forgotten and deserve quality PD.

If the above pitfalls aren’t worrisome, they are more. Insufficient follow-through and accountability can undermine even well-intentioned PD. If there's no mechanism to observe, discuss, reflect upon, and refine the implementation of learned strategies, the impact remains minimal. Teachers may feel they've ticked a box by attending, but the true measure of PD – improved student outcomes – is rarely tracked or analyzed effectively (Guskey, 2000). The same holds true for administrators at all positions.  This is where ongoing and job-embedded coaching become the optimal professional learning pathway for leaders.  

The lack of voice and ownership in the selection and design of PD is another critical flaw. When teachers feel like PD is something imposed upon them rather than something they actively participate in shaping, their embracement diminishes. Including educators in the needs assessment and planning stages can ensure that PD addresses real challenges and fosters a sense of shared responsibility for professional growth (Villegas-Reimers, 2003).

Finally, the time commitment and logistical challenges associated with PD can create significant barriers. Pulling educators away from valuable classroom time can disrupt student learning and add to already heavy workloads. Finding suitable substitutes, covering administrative duties, and scheduling sessions that accommodate everyone's needs can be a logistical nightmare, sometimes leading to rushed or poorly executed PD. Again, this is where coaching cycles provide immense value. 

While the intent behind professional development is undoubtedly positive, its effectiveness is often hampered by a lack of relevance, insufficient follow-through, limited teacher input, and logistical hurdles. To truly unlock the potential of professional learning, schools need to shift towards more personalized, ongoing, and collaborative models that empower teachers and leaders while directly addressing students' needs. Only then can we move beyond the professional development paradox and create a culture of continuous growth that benefits everyone in the educational community.

Reach out to learn about the diverse professional learning options from Aspire Change EDU. 

Darling-Hammond, L., Hyler, M. E., & Gardner, M. (2017). Effective teacher professional development. Learning Policy Institute.   

Guskey, T. R. (2000). Evaluating professional development. Corwin Press.

Joyce, B., & Showers, B. (2002). Student achievement through staff development (3rd ed.). Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development.   

Villegas-Reimers, E. (2003). Teacher professional development: An international review of the literature. UNESCO International Institute for Educational Planning.